Does the bus go faster if I get out and push?

On way home tonight...Diane rings. 'Where are you?' Well I was on the bus coming home. 'Can you get here as fast as you can... we're going to have to take Peter to A+E.' Not the words you want to hear. Especially as I can't make the bus go any faster, short of hijacking it.
It turns out that while Diane was making our tea, my IDIOT son had been systematically shoving sweetcorn up his nose. I have a funny feeling he was being egged on by my wee girl, but eventually she got round to telling her mum what was going on. Apparently he started sneezing, and 2 bits popped out, but Diane could see another lodged wayyyyy waaaayyyyyy waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up there, and had rung the Doctors and she had to go to hospital so a nurse with some teenytiny, but long, tweezers could hoik it out.

Oh, the shame... there we were in baby A+E, comparing mishaps. One boy had fallen off his bike, broke his thumb and had a bleeding head. Another baby had fallen off the settee and had a big bump on her head. And us.... well.... sweetcorn blockage. Took them a few minutes to get it out. First we tried blowing up the other nostril... then the long tweezers, and out came this sweetcorn. Had a good look up his nose with a sweetcorn searchlight, but looks like all out. We went home. As i was getting him ready for his bath - lo! Another bit of sweetcorn up there. Where did THAT come from? NO WAY I am heading back to A+E to sit with the boys with saucepans on their heads etc, so I went after the f***er myself. Diane and her running pal were intially surprised to find me on the living room floor with Peter in a vice-like grip and a screwdriver up his nose. In hindsight I can see their point. So we borrowed some eyebrow tweezers from next door, and I got it! Please god let that be the END.



IDIOT! :-) Note plastic crap keeping him amused.