Hello...

...my lab. Get back to work!!!

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=728

Plastic crap

No really... plastic crap! NOW I've seen everything. Lizzie spotted an advert for this on the telly and of course she wants it. Barbie has a dog that you can feed and then it drops little pellets of plastic dog crap out of it's little plastic anus. Barbie can scoop it and bag it... a lifestyle trainer for the little spoilt princesses of tomorrow. ffs!



I've had an insider tip that Ken is like the guy in our village who just carries two stones around in a little plastic bag, so it looks like he's picked up after his dog, when really the thing is crapping all over the footpaths.

Deja vu

I've had a terrible sense of deja vu recently, and today I worked out what it is - our home life has turned into a series of Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. I'm the boring Dad. Diane is the nutty exasperated Mum. Lizzie is Calvin and Peter is Hobbes.


(c) Bill Watterson: reproduced in the hope I'll get away with it this once. From The Days are Just Packed, 1993; Warner Books. Go out an buy it to appease their lawyers.

Biographies

Case 1

Full Name: Elizabeth Daisy Collinson (Lizzie)
Born: sometime mid-january 2001.
Birthplace: Romania - a fairy-tale palace on the banks of the Danube.

Claims without evidence to have been sent abroad by her parents, apparently the rightful heirs to the throne of an obselete and defunct small satellite state somewhere outside Romania, possibly Transbaikalia, fearing for their lives. Lizzie was left on the doorstep of St John's Hospital, Livingston, Scotland. M Collinson found her at 6 am shivering in the cold, as he went for his appointment to have his ingrowing toenail removed. Now looked after by MC and D Lawson, in Newtonhill, NE Scotland. She dreams that one day her real parents will take her away from this hell hole, back to the palace on the banks of the Danube where she can play princesses all day.

Favourite food: Sugar.





Case 2
Full Name: Peter Stewart Collinson (Pea-brain)
Born: estimated July 2004.
Birthplace: Russia

Born in an isolated village in Siberia. 'Accidentally' lost in the woods by his parents. Raised by wolves. Found by peasant woman and sold into slavery. Escaped on logging ship to Lithuania and hence to Poland. Befriended by Polish student who came to UK to work in hotel. Escaped by gnawing through the bars of his travel cot. Formally adopted by M Collinson and D Lawson, but still essentially feral. Roams streets at night, killing and eating hedgehogs.

Favourite food: Raw meat. Red red meat. Preferably hedgehogs.

Lizzie's Pink Plastic motorbike

Here's our Betty on a big pink bike. She's happy. It cost me a quid!



And here she is learning about squirrels! That was free - my smile was even bigger than hers.


Finally, this is Pea-brain 'greeting' cos he got his hands dirty. bless.